Ran into the one-and-only Alan Ruck (Spin City, Persons Unknown, Twister, Young Guns 2, and of course, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) while at LIME in Santa Monica. His Lemmy ‘Stache is Whiskerino material fo’ sho.
UPDATE: The response to this post led us to create a book, THE CRAFT BEERDS BOOK. Check it!
With Petaluma Whiskerino growing closer, and Lagunitas being one of the many homegrown supporters, we’ve got beer and facial hair on the membrane.
To celebrate, here’s a collection of our favorite Craft Beerds—label artwork graced by moustaches and beards.
• • • •
Moretti Moustache Man (old/new)
What’s changed? For starters, his Reverse Hitler ‘Stache has grown into a Flanders. Also, his de-aged design has given him the strength to hoist the mug of Moretti with noticeable gusto. Either way, glad they stuck with the man on the label. Referred to as, wait for it, “The Man on the Label”, he’s the official symbol of the Birra Moretti brand. A bit of his history via their site:
… In 1942, Birra Moretti had already been a popular drink all over Friuli for over 80 years. One day, Commander Lao Menazzi Moretti saw a pleasant-looking old man with a moustache sitting at a little table in the Boschetti di Tricesimo inn (Udine).
He was just the kind of character Moretti had been looking for to represent the qualities and character of his beer: wholesome, traditional and authentic. Commander Moretti didn’t let him get away. He went up to him and asked the man if he could photograph him and also asked him what he would like in return. “Cal mi dedi di bevi, mi baste” – answered the man in Friuli dialect, which means “Get me a drink, that’ll do.” [See his photo]
Shmaltz Brewing / Coney Island Craft Lagers
‘Human Blockhead’
That’s Donny Vomit, the man and legend on the Coney IslandHuman Blockhead label. Read how he got there at Village Voice.
Photo: Laure Leber
• • • •
Lagunitas Brewing Company ‘Joseph’s Best Brown Ale’
Not sure the date of this long-gone Lagunitas brew, but the label lists their address on Ross Street in Petaluma. So more than five years, at least. See the full label at BeerLabels.com.
• • • •
Avery Brewing ‘The Kaiser’
With the spike on his helmet, his ‘stache looks like the fletchings on an arrow. Yes, fletchings are the feathers on the end of an archery arrow. I had to look it up, too. We both learned something today.
Just nabbed a bottle of The Kaiser Imperial Oktoberfest from Avery in Colorado. Look for a review soon.
• • • •
Shmaltz Brewing / He’Brew ‘Genesis Ale’
Nice Hasidic Beerd gracing the first ale from He’Brew.
• • • •
Founders ‘Double’
Clever label. If only both views were hairy. Read about Founders Double at Ferment Nation.
• • • •
New Glarus ‘Unplugged’
That’s brewmaster Dan Carey gracing the Unplugged series of ‘brewers choice’ beers from Wisconsin’s New Glarus Brewing Company. Release four times a year. Same ‘stache. Different brew.
Photo courtesy of the awesomely named Motley Brüe.
• • • •
Half Acre Beer Company ‘Ginger Twin’
How rad is Half Acre? Aside from being in my motherland, Chicago, they ran one of the most badass promos ever for their Ginger Twin beer:
*Anyone with God given red hair will be granted an 8% discount on Ginger Twin purchases.
**Anyone with God given red hair and a Longshoremen’s beard will be granted a 10% discount on Ginger Twin purchases.
***Identical Twins will be granted a 15% discount on Ginger Twin Purchases
****Identical Twins with God given red hair will be granted a 25% discount on Ginger Twin purchases.
*****Identical Twins with God Given red hair and Longshoremen’s beards will be granted a special treat (each) and 50% off additional Ginger Twin purchases.
Most of their beers feature the Danish brewing duo’s follicled faces somewhere on the label, but the Big Worse mugshot is one of the better treatments. Haven’t tried yet, but if it’s anything like Beer Geek Breakfast, I’ll be happy.
• • • •
De Molen ‘Donder & Bliksem’
A mighty beard. A majestic head of hair. One good pair deserves another. De Molen‘s Donder & Bliksem (which means thunder & lightning) comes in two versions: the Dutch version, a Pilsner; the US version, a “Double Dutch Ale”. Go figure.
• • • •
Morrissey Fox
Hairless Brits Neil Morrissey and Richard Fox sport Beerstaches on every label of their Morrissey Fox beer.
• • • •
Redhook ‘Big Ballard Imperial IPA’
This year Redhook introduced this as a nod to one of their first offerings, Ballard Bitter IPA, dating all the way back to ’84 when they were still brewing in an old Ballard neighborhood transmission shop. (Update: Thanks for the lüv, Redhook!)
• • • •
Schloss Eggenberg ‘Samichlaus Helles’
Big white beards on Christmas beers aren’t a rare sight. With one exception—a beer that’s only brewed once a year, on December 6th—Samichlaus. The original and Helles versions of share the same bearded Santa Claus graphic (though I have an older version with just a North Star graphic). A Christmas tradition in the Abercrombie häus for sure.
Just in case your VW Bug thinks it’s a guy (it’s not). Or your giant pickup just isn’t quite sure which way it swings. There’s CarStache, CarLashes, and Truck Balls to set the record straight. Phew. (Thanks, Nicole)
Moustaches on lady celebrities are better than lady beards on male celebrities—see any of Tom Cruise’s wives or Simon Cowell’s girlfriends. (*Explanation here.)
Two retired sports figures are doing a series of commercial vids on YouTube, there was bound to be some crossover … Tell me this dude looks more than a little Hernandez-y …
Wow. Some serious planning and facial hair went into this vid.
Makes my time lapse commute beard look more than a bit choppy by comparison. And makes my head hurt just thinking how he reverse engineered the whole thing. Cheers to MailChimp for using this to showcase their growth potential. (Thanks, Tim!)
Just as certain ‘staches make you think of shady porn stars or shadier child molestors, your beard can also instill prejudgments. But not necessarily of the shady variety. The Chronicle of Higher Education did a study comparing the credibility of bearded men. Interesting.
